Thursday, March 24, 2016

DON'T ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN TO PLAY 'I SPY'



Below is an excerpt from my book: "Seven Successful Strategies For Divorced Parents." Having worked as a Parenting Instructor for Michigan State Universities 'Building Strong Families' program, I was able to assist parents, teachers and caregivers in positive ways to effectively communicate within the family structure.  This excerpt highlights some of the information from the chapter entitled: "Simple Solutions To Finding Common Ground." It refers to the time when parents are in the beginning stages of a possible separation or for parents that are aware that they are soon to be divorced. While couples are fixated on court dates and the splitting up of property as well as the emotional turmoil of the dissolution of a marriage, daily routines may be off schedule or sometimes, forgotten altogether. **This is the second of a 4-Part Excerpt. 
  • Don't Encourage Your Children To Play 'I Spy' For You: It is natural to be inquisitive about your ex-partner, but it is not fair to ask your children about personal, adult issues in relation to your exes' affairs to satisfy that curiosity. There is noting wrong with casual conversation about how their time with the absent parent has been spent, such as the activities they've enjoyed or events they may have attended together, but questions about whom your Ex is seeing, what that person looks like, and what they're doing should not be addressed with your children. In relation to obtaining information on your exes' new partner, your goal is to ensure your children are treated well and with respect and are not brought into harms way. Beyond that, remind yourself that you are moving on with your life and you're allowing your ex-spouse/partner the freedom to do the same. 
 
 Should situations exist whereby your child may be dealing with or facing a form of abuse, be sure to take protective & preventative measures that will aid in ensuring the child's safety-before you act. We all have read about or have listened to news stories of how some parents, once being forewarned that measures are being put into place to investigate a matter, harms either themselves, the children, and in many cases, both, in an effort to stave off any interference. Take note if your outgoing, friendly child suddenly becomes withdrawn and quiet. review their different moods and how they react in certain situations. Talk with them often about how they are feeling and be in tune to their body language, as well as what they say and don't say. Because divorce in itself can seem devastating to children, these signs as well as others could simply be indicators that they may need professional assistance of some sort in handling the situation, but they could also be warning signs of some form of abuse taking place in the home or in their environment, in which case outside agencies would be better prepared to assist you in your quest to protect the safety of your children.  


Known as the 'From Goal-Setting to Goal GETTING' coach, Sherry Brantley is a Certified Life Coach and Certified Professional Coach specializing in assisting people in reaching their goals. Whether writing books related to personal growth such as 'STEPP-How To Create Positive Change In Your Life,' or her fictional trilogy of work 'Best of Friends,' which garnered National Recognition for 'Best Fiction Of The Year,' Sherry is sure to incorporate thought-provoking ideals and concepts which readers are able to connect to in order to increase their understanding of their own Spiritual growth, determine what they'd like to achieve in life and develop a road-map to get there! 

www.steppbook.com
www.sherrybrantley.com
www.inspirationalvoice.com

S.T.E.P.P:  Start To Exercise Personal Power
STEPP Up To YOU!




Sunday, February 7, 2016

LET'S GO FOR YOUR GOALS!


We're beginning the second week of February, 2016. Yes, I know, February is the shortest month of the year, but that does not mean you need to be short on reaching your goals!  Below are some techniques to help everyone stay on track:

  • Be 'Wise' With The Why' Of Your Goal:Your 'why' is the personal reason why you're reaching for your goals. It fuels the passion behind the force, ensuring you remain steadfast and focused. This is especially helpful should you begin to face challenges or setbacks in your overall vision. Keeping your 'why' in mind, will sustain you for the long haul.
  • Divide Goals Into Bite-Sized Chews: Yes, we eat an elephant one bite at a time, and the same can be said about our goals. Remember not to bite off more than you can easily or comfortably chew. This keeps your goals from being too overwhelming to complete and allows you some immediate success on your path as you forge ahead to complete your 'smaller' goals. Focusing on what to do now--today, is a lot simpler and less stressful than wondering how the entire mechanism will come together. Keep the words of Martin L. King Jr. in mind: "You don't have to see the entire staircase, in order to take the first step."
  • Remember To Put Your ''Vision" into ACTION!  Visualization is a wonderful tool to assist you to keep your eye on the prize when going for your goal. But you must remember that like anything, it requires ACTION.  Sitting around with beautiful vision boards, journaling your thoughts or completing daily affirmations will not yield results. DOING is what DOES that! While the other duties can assist you--they cannot complete what you must ultimately do! Know that Knowledge is in the Knowing, but Wisdom is in the Doing!  So don't get lax in what your next steps should be... GET INTO ACTION MODE TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS!

Known as the 'From Goal-Setting to Goal GETTING' coach, Sherry Brantley is a Certified Life Coach and Certified Professional Coach specializing in assisting people in reaching their goals. Whether writing books related to personal growth such as'STEPP-How To Create Positive Change In Your Life,' or her fictional trilogy of work'Best of Friends,' which garnered National Recognition for 'Best Fiction Of The Year,'Sherry is sure to incorporate thought-provoking ideals and concepts which readers are able to connect to in order to increase their understanding of their own Spiritual growth, determine what they'd like to achieve in life and develop a road-map to get there! 

www.steppbook.com
www.sherrybrantley.com
www.inspirationalvoice.com

S.T.E.P.P:  Start To Exercise Personal Power
'STEPP Up To YOU!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

SEVEN SUCCESSFUL STRATEGIES FOR DIVORCED PARENTS

Below is an excerpt from my book: "Seven Successful Strategies For Divorced Parents." Having worked as a Parenting Instructor for Michigan State Universities 'Building Strong Families' program, I was able to assist parents, teachers and caregivers in positive ways to effectively communicate within the family structure.  This excerpt highlights some of the information from the chapter entitled: "Simple Solutions To Finding Common Ground." It refers to the time when parents are in the beginning stages of a possible separation or for parents that are aware that they are soon to be divorced. While couples are fixated on court dates and the splitting up of property as well as the emotional turmoil of the dissolution of a marriage, daily routines may be off schedule or sometimes, forgotten altogether. **This is the first of a 4-Part Excerpt


  • Prepare For The 'Unexpected' By Making It The 'Expected.'  Begin to take control of situations at hand and know that there are many areas which may go unnoticed, or may simply have been overlooked. It's a good idea to be proactive to avoid being reactive. Set time to draft a list of all routines that must continue on a daily basis. Don't leave a stone unturned. Whether it is soccer, a play, a musical recital or homework time...ensure someone is available to take care of things. Yes, I've experienced the real life scene when one parent forgets to pick up a child from an event, and the teacher, now having to stay after with them, assuring them that yes your parents love you, they've simply forgotten about the time as they try to handle their hectic schedules. Even when children understand those words of comfort on the surface, it is a bitter pill for them to swallow. Over time, if continuously being done, the lessons they derive from this behavior may not be the positive ones in which you intended for them. It is no different when we, as adults, look forward to certain events or spending specific time with a certain person, only to find that once again,they have not been able to make a solid commitment to whatever the event or occasion may have been, or that once again, we're the lowest ones on the totem pole in their life and their behavior is evident of that.

  • Don't Make Kids 'Choose' Which Parent They'd Prefer: It seems ludicrous that any parent would do this, and many times it is not done on a conscious level. But a seemingly innocent enough statement such as: "Who do you prefer to go to the movies with?" Or, "Did you want your teacher to speak with your dad-or me," could give the child the impression you're making him or her choose between both parents, when honestly in most cases, they still want to be with you both. As adults, it is up to you to make decisions based on your availability, your willingness and your own level of skill/expertise in that area of concern.  Divorcing can be difficult for all the parties involved: Adult parents as well as children and in some cases, even the in-laws of both parties! Children are even more vulnerable at this time and it matters not if they're grade school or high-school age. It is the severing of ties that can be traumatic at different stages and times for each person and it is during these times when it is crucial that communication from both parents is conveyed in an understanding, loving way. Children do not want to; nor should they, become involved in the 'irreconcilable differences' which the adults are dealing with. Insisting that they know 'exactly' why the relationship didn't work out, when they may not be emotionally capable of dealing with such information, only adds to the discontent and confusion they are feeling and acts as a hindrance in later years, in regards to developing a relationship with the absent parent. 


Known as the 'From Goal-Setting to Goal GETTING' coach, Sherry Brantley is a Certified Life Coach and Certified Professional Coach specializing in assisting people in reaching their goals. Whether writing books related to personal growth such as 'STEPP-How To Create Positive Change In Your Life,' or her fictional trilogy of work 'Best of Friends,' which garnered National Recognition for 'Best Fiction Of The Year,' Sherry is sure to incorporate thought-provoking ideals and concepts which readers are able to connect to in order to increase their understanding of their own Spiritual growth, determine what they'd like to achieve in life and develop a road-map to get there! 



www.steppbook.com

www.sherrybrantley.com

www.inspirationalvoice.com

S.T.E.P.P:  Start To Exercise Personal Power
'STEPP Up To YOU!